Movie Review: Truth or Dare (2018)
Hey, fat ass, this movie review is about three weeks too late. You’re supposed to review the movie BEFORE it comes out, not two weeks after. Useless...
Well, you know what? TOO BAD!!! Okay? I’m sorry I got behind. I’m sorry I let myself get distracted. I’M SORRY I’M NOT PERFECT!! I try so hard to be. SO HARD...
Anyway, here’s my “review” of the Blumhouse film, Truth or Dare, which came out this past Friday the 13th. I wrote this review a couple weeks ago, and I still agree with everything I said in it. There’s not a whole lot of horror out in cinemas right now, and the movie is still playing, so I feel like this review is worth checking out. Besides, Infinity War is dominating the box office and is still sold out pretty much everywhere, so you’re gonna have to see something else instead if you were planning to see it. Maybe that something will be Truth or Dare. If so, read this review before you head out to the theater. Enjoy!
I saw Truth or Dare tonight. It’s pretty stupid but entertaining nonetheless. If MTV took Final Destination and The Ring and smashed them together for the Snapchat generation, this is what you’d get. Tyler Posey needs to give up acting and go work at Olive Garden. You know how you get there and you’re like “how long is the wait for a booth?” and the hot guy is like “it’ll be about 30-40 minutes for a booth, but I can get you a table at the bar in like 10 minutes as soon as someone clears one off?” And then you’re like “did I fucking ask for a table at the bar or did I say booth? I’m fat - I need a booth because if I topple over I need somewhere safe to land.” And then he just stares at you confused... yeah, that needs to be Tyler Posey’s new job.
Conclusion: Truth or Dare is a stupid but mildly entertaining horror flick with a few scares. You might be rolling your eyes until you trigger a bout of vertigo, but you won’t be too bored and you might even jump once or twice. Tyler Posey has a big dick, and Lucy Hale stays committed to her performance even though she’s not given much to work with.
Final grade: C-